


A Not So Easy Choice

by el_gilliath



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Hopeful Ending, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Maria DeLuca/Michael Guerin, They believe Mimi is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23059750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/el_gilliath/pseuds/el_gilliath
Summary: He feels everything in him go cold when he gets the texts. Opening them and seeing pictures of Mimi and Alex, bound to a chair with the wordsIf you could only save one, who would you choose? Decide quickly, you only have two hours.
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 37
Kudos: 101





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Ariqa and Marlo for reading through and encouraging me about this. And thank you for always telling me that no, you can't kill anyone else.

He feels everything in him go cold when he gets the texts. Opening them and seeing pictures of Mimi and Alex, bound with the words _If you could only save one, who would you choose? Decide quickly, you only have two hours._

He knows instinctively who’s behind it, there’s only one person who would willingly use a woman like Mimi and his own son to try and get to him. He also knows without a shadow of a doubt that Jesse is one hundred percent sure Michael is going to come to the rescue.

A petty part of him doesn’t want to prove him right. But there’s no way he can leave them in Jesse’s clutches. But if he can only save one of them… How does he choose between his girlfriend's mother and the man he’s loved since he was 17. It’s an impossible choice, which means he needs help. He needs Isobel.

He throws himself into his truck and drives to Izzy’s house. She still lives in the house she owned with Noah, since ‘it’s a perfectly good house’. He doesn’t understand how she can handle it, but then again he never understood Isobel’s overbearing stubbornness. But it has saved her thus far, so he will continue to not say anything. But the day she’s ready to move he’ll be there.

But until then he has other things to think about. Like the fact that Jesse is a torturous madman. The drive from Sander’s to Isobel’s normally takes him 20 minutes. He manages it in 10.

He launches himself out of the car as soon as he’s stopped, making sure the doors are closed with his telekinesis as he runs into the house.

“Isobel! Isobel!”

“Why are you shouting, Michael?” She’s her usual haughty self as she comes into the hall from the living room, looking perfectly put together the way she always does.

“Jesse Manes has Mimi and-”

“Slow down, Michael. What do you mean Jesse Manes has Mimi?”

“I got a text. It has a picture of Mimi tied to a chair but it’s not… It’s not just Mimi.”

Isobel gives him a look he recognizes instantly. She’s given him the look many times over the year he’s been dating Maria. It’s a look she started giving him after the first time she watched him interact with Alex. After the first time she felt what he himself feels every time Alex is around. She doesn’t need to hear his name to know who else Jesse has, she can probably feel it through their bond.

“He told me I can only save one of them. And I only have two hours to decide.”

“How do you know he’s telling the truth?”

“It’s Jesse Manes,” he replies. “There’s no reason to doubt it. And as I said. Pictures.”

“Show me.”

He does, handing his phone over. He watches as Isobel looks at the text, scrolling through the pictures. He feels the deep sigh she releases as she hands back his phone in his gut.

“You need to tell Maria.”

“How the fuck do I tell her, Iz?”

“You just do.”

He doesn’t want to, but he knows Izzy is right. He also knows Maria is at the Pony, doing paperwork. He doesn’t want to tell her, but he knows that he has to. 

“Okay. I guess we’re going now.”

\-----

He gets another text on route. _Who’s it gonna be, alien? The mother or the ex? 60 minutes left_ with another picture of the two tied to chairs. 

He grits his teeth, inhaling and exhaling sharply as he tries to calm down. He’s mad, worried, shaking. Why is it always him?

Isobel takes the phone from his hand, replacing it with her own hand and holding him tightly. She knows exactly what he needs, his sister, she always does. And with Max still being dead… It’s just the two of them. Even if they are coming closer to the answer to that riddle.

“It’ll be fine, Michael, she’ll understand.”

“Understand what, Iz?” he asks. 

“That you have to save Alex.”

He very much doubts that Maria will understand that, her mother is her whole world. And Alex. Alex is more competent than Mimi is, especially now with her confused state of mind. He doesn’t know what he’s gonna do if Maria wants him to save her mother instead of Alex. He doesn’t want to think about it. 

But it doesn’t matter, he thinks to himself as he parks in front of the Pony and gets out of the truck. He’ll decide soon. 

He strides inside the Pony, opening the door telekinetically as he nears it. He knows Maria doesn’t mind now that she knows about his powers. 

“Maria?” he asks loudly just in case, he doesn’t want to scare her atop the shitty news he comes bearing. 

“Inventory!” She yells back. He still hesitates in walking forward, hesitates enough that Isobel takes his hand and gives him another reassuring squeeze, their connection radiating with calmness. He squeezes back quickly in thanks before he gathers his everything and walks forward. 

Maria is exactly where she said, behind the bar doing inventory. She grins widely, putting down her clipboard and getting out from the bar to greet him. She stops when she sees Isobel, their relations might be better but they’re not even close to friends yet, before visibly steeling herself and continuing to give him a kiss. He turns away slightly, so her kiss lands on his cheek and not on his mouth. He just can’t, right now.

“Hey,” Maria asks, brow furrowed. “What’s wrong?”

He doesn’t want to tell her. He doesn’t want to see her face. He doesn’t want to-

“Jesse Manes has your mom.” He blurts it out, no softening, no censoring. Just blurts it out.

“What do you mean Jesse has Mom?” her voice is hard now, the furrowing of her brow deepening.

“I mean he has her hostage. And he’s giving me 45 minutes to decide-”

“ _Decide?_ Decide what, to save her? To go get her?”

He looks over at Isobel, just a glance to ask for help but Maria moves her head so he can’t really focus on her. He still sees Isobel mouth ‘Tell her’.

“Michael, wh- why are you even here if Jesse has Mom!” Maria’s voice is rising, panic setting in as she picks up on the fact that he’s completely serious. “If this is true you have to go!”

“It’s true, I have proof,” he says, and tries to show her the pictures. But Maria shuts her eyes, turns away and hides her face. He gives Isobel a helpless look, but Isobel just sucks her teeth before mouthing ‘Tell her’ again. Her face is a harder mask now, her annoyance not showing but still felt by Michael.

“I don’t want to see, I can’t see her like that! She’s already so vulnerable, I just can’t!”

“Okay, I won’t show you but Maria, I have to tell you-”

“No!” Her voice is pitching into screams now. “Just go and get my mom! She doesn’t deserve this!”

He wishes he could close his eyes and not be in this situation, not be in this predicament, not be in this place. 

He doesn’t know how to choose, doesn’t know if he can. How do people make choices, like these, and live with them. 

“Michael, you have to go save my mom!” Maria screams at him. “Please!”

But it’s not that simple. She doesn’t know that Jesse has another hostage. He doesn’t want to know what she would ask of him if she knew that Alex is also in his father's hand. Considering she knows one hell of a lot of what happened in the Manes household when he grew up.

He knows he should save Mimi, save his girlfriend’s mother. After all, Alex is an Air Force Captain, he’s gotten himself out of worse jams than this and Michael knows he’s probably capable of whatever he needs to do to get himself out. 

But the thought of leaving him. Of letting him feel alone and abandoned. It reminds him too much of how he felt when Alex _had_ to leave. So how can he leave him when he had the chance not to.

“What are you waiting for, Michael?! My mom needs you!” 

Maria is getting decidedly more frustrated, the anger and fear in her voice clear as she yells. She doesn’t understand, he gets that. He might not have a mom anymore but he gets it. 

“It’s not that-“

“If you try to tell me it’s not that simple I’m gonna hit you. My mom is in the hands of Jesse fucking Manes, the reason she’s like this, and you’re hesitating when you can go save her!” she seethes. “I know how he treated Alex growing up, I can’t let her stay in his clutches! It’s my mom, Michael!”

He shares another look with Isobel as Maria mentions Alex. Their relationship is not the best since he started dating Maria, though thankfully he and Maria managed to spare their friendship even if his spiral tried to fuck with that too. But Alex will always come if anyone needs him. And he knows, intimately, just how good Alex is at getting himself out of tricky situations. But leaving him with Jesse when he has no idea if Jesse would keep him alive or not, it shakes him to his very core, like acid burning through the inside of his stomach, like holding your hand over a fire as it slowly burns.

“Maria… I-”

“I’ve done a lot of shit, Guerin. Hurt people that I shouldn’t have, for you. I’m begging you, go get my _mom_. She doesn’t deserve any of this!”

He looks at Maria who’s watching him with tears rolling silently down her cheek. He doesn’t say anything, just swallows hard as he bites his tongue.

“You owe me.” 

And he does. For the shit he put her through, for being stupid enough to try to ruin her friendship with Alex when he pursued her without even thinking about that, for all the times he hasn’t paid at the Pony, for all the times he’s taken it out on her and been in a mood when he’s fought with Alex. He loves her, he adores her. He can do this for her. Alex can get himself out, and he has to believe Jesse wouldn’t hurt him. He can do this to make up for the fact that he will always love Alex more.

“Okay. Okay,” he says, a grimace in the shape of a smile on his face as she throws herself in his arms, sobbing and whispering ‘Thank you’ over and over again. Isobel walks into his line of sight behind her, her patented ‘You’re an idiot’ mask firmly on. He knows he should’ve told Maria that it’s not just her mother that’s at stake, but he can’t. He has to keep her happy if he wants to keep her. She deserves to be happy with what she gave up for him.

He extracts herself from her grip a few minutes later, giving her a smile he hopes looks slightly more genuine, but probably doesn’t with the way she frowns.

“I have to go if I’m gonna do this. I need to get the location.” He kisses her on the forehead, cradling her face sweetly in his hands. “Stay with Isobel, you’ll be safe with her. I’ll be back as soon as I have her.”

He nods at Isobel, waiting for her nod back before he lets go of Maria and walks out of there. He ignores the thought of her frown as he texts the unknown number back, writing simply ‘Mimi Deluca’. He ignores it still when he gets a set of directions in reply. Maybe if he can ignore Maria’s frown, he can ignore how much it’ll hurt knowing that he’s leaving Alex to fend for himself. Even though he doesn’t deserve it, even though Alex always comes through for everyone else. He’ll do what Maria asked him to do and get her mom. It’s the right thing to do. 

~~He wishes he could believe it himself.~~

\-----

Maria watches Michael leave with a sour taste rising in her mouth. She was, she _is_ , distressed, but now that he’s gone she knows there’s something he didn’t tell her. Her psychic sense is tingling, has been tingling since he came in but she ignored it when he started talking about her mom. But now she can’t anymore. Not with that grimace Michael had on his face as he left.

“Why did Michael have that look on his face?” she asks as she turns around to face Isobel. Isobel, who always looks impeccable in both manner and clothes, but right now looks a little nauseous as she looks down on the floor.

“What do you mean?” 

It pisses her off that Isobel doesn’t even consider that she can see straight through her bullshit. That’s the thing with Isobel Evans, they might not be each other's biggest fan, but they’re far too similar not to know when the other is trying to lie or deflect.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

“Maria-“

“Isobel. What. Aren’t. You. Telling. Me,” she says. The edge in her tone is hard, and she narrows her eyes as Isobel sighs irritably. But she knows she’s won when Isobel opens her mouth.

“Jesse Manes might have your mother behind one door,” Isobel replies. “But he has Alex behind the other. And by begging Michael to save your mom, you might just have killed Alex.”

The room is silent for a minute, long enough for Isobel to get worried.

She’s deeply relieved that Michael’s already left when Maria lets out an anguished scream shortly after, screaming in anger and grief.

“Why didn’t he **tell** me?” she yells in between the tears.

“You didn’t give him a chance,” Isobel answers. And she didn’t, with her demands as soon as she heard Michael mention her mother. She still regrets being quite so straightforward when Maria bursts into tears. The only thing she can do is hug her close and let her cling to her as she cries. She just hopes Michael hasn’t lost the love of his life because he thinks he has to do everything Maria asks him to, just because he feels guilty that she almost threw away a friendship for her brother and because he still can’t stop loving Alex, regardless of his feelings for Maria. But Isobel also knows it’s not that easy.

She still really hopes Michael returns with Alex and not Mimi, cruel though it may be. She doesn’t think Michael will survive if he doesn’t.

\-----

His heart beats fast as he nears the directions from the text. He can feel it racing in his chest, his breath quickening as he sees the old, decrepit house on the side of the road. He hates that his mind is telling him not to stop, to drive on. To send a text and ask for Alex’s location instead. He hates that he’s unable to let it go, even if he promised Maria.

He wants to go get Alex. He wants, he wants, he wants. But he won’t. Alex can get himself out, he has to. Jesse won’t hurt his son. He really hopes he won’t.

He forces himself to stop in front of the house, getting out of his truck slowly while he listens to his surroundings, listens in a way that Alex taught him to try and make sure nothing bad is hiding around him. He reaches out with his powers too, tries to feel if there’s anything around. But there’s not; as far as he can tell he’s alone. He still approaches the house slowly, carefully, but nothing stops him. Nothing jumps out, nothing seems weird. It’s just an old house on the side of the road, close to falling apart and decrepit as all hells.

It’s creepy. It’s also perfect for Jesse Manes and his own brand of torture.

He opens the, admittedly shabby, front door and looks inside. There’s nothing there. Nothing besides a door to a room that seems to have been switched out lately. The pounding of his heart intensifies, though it’s more of a hard beat than a race now. A hard beat of regret. He pushes onward still, walking over to the door and taking deep breaths. One. Two. Three. The handle is in his hand, and he wrenches it open before he can second guess himself, his telekinesis at the ready. He moves into the room and stops. He can’t help but feel a deep relief course through him.

“Alex.”

The sight of Alex sitting tied up in the chair in front of him makes him want to weep tears of joy. It makes him want to jump in joy and take his face between his hands and kiss him, deeply, truly, as he runs his fingers through Alex’s hair. It makes him want to love him forever.

It makes him the happiest he has ever been before. Before he remembers Mimi. The person he was meant to save. The person he promised to save. Who is now most likely dead. A part of him cries out in fear of what will happen with Maria, now. Now that he’s failed her too.

But Alex is here. Alex is alive. He can’t help but be grateful. ~~It’s who he wanted to save all along.~~

Alex looks at him with an unreadable look on his face, before he looks down and a soft, sob like sound leaves him. Michael rushes over, talking nonsense as he unties him from the chair.

“Hey, Alex, hey, I’m gonna get you out of here, I swear,” he babbles, helping Alex stand, letting him lean on him as he groans when he puts weight on the prosthetic. Alex doesn’t really say anything, just lets Michael lead him to the car, lets him help him into the car and close the door. He doesn’t say anything as Michael gets into the truck himself and drives away from the old house. Doesn’t say anything as Michael asks him if he’s hurt, or okay, or in pain, just shakes his head or nods where he needs to. It makes Michael feel unsure, makes the grief of Mimi linger in his head because in many ways Alex doesn’t seem happy to see him, just blank. He doesn’t want to know what happened to him before he got there.

“Alex, I-”

“Where are you going?” Alex finally asks. 

“I need to go to the Pony. I need to tell-”

“You need to tell Maria about Mimi. Yeah, Guerin, I know it was either me or Mimi. My dad likes to torture me, you should know that by now.” Alex shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Let’s just… Let’s just go.”

Michael can’t really do much more than nod, especially as Alex turns away to stare out of the window of the truck. He wants to console him, wants to hold his hand and make him feel better. He doesn’t feel like he’s allowed to, given that he didn’t actually pick him.

\-----

They get to the Pony half an hour later. Half an hour in awkward silence that Michael can’t seem to break, a silence that Alex _won’t_ break. He’s tried, asking him if he needs food or water or if he would prefer Michael to drive him home. Alex has just shaken his head every time. No answer, no noise, just a shake of his head. Michael is worried, so very worried. But he doesn’t want to pry.

“You don’t have to come in if you don’t want to,” he tries to offer. The derisive snort Alex releases tells him all he needs to know about that suggestion, so he just nods and gets out. Alex is just getting out of the car when the front door bangs open. Maria runs out, tears and hope on her face. She freezes as she sees Michael, as she sees _Alex_. Michael can see the way her teeth clench, how her hands tighten into fists, how she starts to slightly shake from trying to hold herself together. So Isobel told her then.

“Of course you picked him,” she bites out. “Of course Alex was more important than my mother.”

He looks at her, doesn’t know how to tell her that Jesse gave him the wrong coordinates. If he tells her Alex will hear, Alex knowing he didn’t pick him would be worse than Maria thinking he decided to leave her mother. He won’t think about why that is yet.

“And my mother is left in the hands of **Jesse fucking Manes**. How the fuck could you leave her with him, Guerin!” 

She rages. He lets her. Lets her curse him to kingdom come, lets her yell all her hatred at Jesse and sorrow over her mom at him. He let her down, he knows what. He still can’t help but feel happy that Alex is alive.

“I should’ve known.” Her eyes fill with tears, her clenched hands releasing, her jaw softening. “I knew the second Isobel told me that you would show up with Alex. And I guess I can’t blame you, I know you still love him, after all.”

He opens his mouth to answer, but stops when Alex walks closer to Maria, taking her hands between his. She’s crying openly, big fat tears running in rivulets down her face. But the happy smile she gives him through her tears, her relief to see him makes Michael feel marginally better. Especially when she lifts his hands to her face and lays small kisses on them.

But Alex doesn’t look relieved, nor happy. He just looks full of sorrow and pain. Michael doesn’t understand, especially when a tear slowly rolls down Alex’s cheek as well. He doesn’t know what’s going to come out of Alex’s mouth as he opens his mouth to speak.

"He chose her," Alex answers for him. "He just didn't know Dad switched who was behind which door.”

All the air in Michael’s body stops circulating at that point. His heart beats faster in response, his hands start sweating, his nerves tick behind his eyes. No, no, no no nononononononono.

Alex scoffs. He extracts his hands from Maria’s, whose eyes are wide, shocked and distraught. Just like Michael feels to his very core. “I’m sorry about your mom, Maria. But I’m not sorry I’m alive.”

Michael can only watch in horrified shock as Alex turns and walks away. All thoughts of Maria are gone.

“The worst part is, I would’ve picked you,” Alex says as he stops a few feet off and looks back at Michael. “I always pick you.”

Michael doesn’t think he could feel worse if he tried.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well. That could’ve gone better.”

“Well. That could’ve gone better.”

Michael knows he should feel irritated with his sister, but the only thing he feels is numb as he watches Alex walk further away. He’s limping, slightly, but he knows any kind of help will be ceremoniously shot down. Alex’s patience is saint-like, but anger him enough and you have the devil on your hands.

And right now he’s not just angry. He’s in pain, he’s tired. He’s devastated. Because he knew Michael wasn’t there for him. The one person he thought would come for him but he wasn’t expecting to see showed up because he was expecting to save someone else. 

He keeps replaying the sob over and over again in his head.

“You have one hell of a lot of explaining to do, Michael.”

He closes his eyes, tilting his head towards Isobel, a familiar move to both of them. It’s one they do when they’re in deep distress and don’t want to speak, a move they’ve apparently done since being children. As far as they can tell it’s a move designed to show others of their species that they need something.

Isobel understands what he needs, as always, because she comes over and hugs him tightly to her. A gesture of comfort, but also to ground him with a tight squeeze that makes him more aware of where he is. Another of his own fantastic PTSD coping mechanisms. 

“Is it true?”

“Yeah.” He opens his eyes, gaze finding Maria’s. “I did what you wanted, but he gave me the directions to Alex instead of Mimi. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t-.” She swallows hard, wipes her tears though they don’t stop. “Don’t be sorry. You got to save who you wanted to, I can’t be mad about that. Mom isn’t a threat to Jesse so maybe he will let her go?”

Her question doesn’t have hope, just quiet resignation. She doesn’t believe it any more than they do. 

“I shouldn’t have forced you to go save Mom without letting you tell me about Alex. I tried to manipulate you and I shouldn’t have.”

“You didn’t. I wanted to save her for you,” he says. Isobel releases him but doesn’t move far. He knows she’s studying Maria with narrowed eyes, can feel it in the way she’s tense next to him.

“Yes, I did. Let me be sorry for that, Michael. And let me be sad and angry that Jesse fooled you. But I’m **not** sorry Alex is alive. You saved the right person. Your relief about him being alive is obvious.”

“I’m still-“

“No, Michael.” She comes over and lays her hand on his cheek, softly stroking with her thumb. “You love him. Don’t ever be sorry about that.”

“I love you too.”

“I know. But not the same way you love him. I’ve been denying it for so long because I wanted to be selfish and have you. But I hurt my best friend over it, and it’s time I stop.”

He knows Alex is walking away behind him, he wants to run and beg on his knees for forgiveness. But Maria deserves his attention. He does love her, could love her forever if only Alex Manes wasn’t a factor. But a factor he is, and he’s weirdly proud of it finally being out there. It feels freeing, probably because he’s never been able to be open about his love for Alex.

“You’ve been the best girlfriend I’ve ever had,” he says, dead serious. He’s weirdly proud again of how it makes her giggle through her tears.

“I’m the only girlfriend you ever had,” she replies. Her face sombers, her hand falls from his face. “But it’s time for you to go to your only boyfriend. It’s him you want, Michael.”

“Finally you’ve come to your senses,” Isobel mutters, mock glaring at both of them when they turn to look at her. “I’ve only been waiting for ten months.”

“Iz-”

“No. I did encourage you in the beginning because I thought this was what you needed.” Her eyes flicker to Maria. “What both of you needed. And maybe it was in the beginning, but you’ve been going through the motions with this thing because you’ve both been scared of what happens if you don’t. You might love each other, you might be happyish, but there’s no spark. Not anymore.”

There’s a slight uncomfortable silence after Isobel finishes speaking. But it’s uncomfortable because it’s true, not because it’s mean and a lie.

“You don’t hold anything back, do you, Evans.”

“I do actually. Maybe if I hadn’t, Alex wouldn’t have walked away thinking no one would ever pick him.”

It punches the air straight out of him again. 

“Alex won’t let me near him right now,” he says, voice low. He doesn’t feel sorry for himself, nor does he feel bad about his relationship with Maria ending. He just feels like shit because he knows how bad Alex must be feeling.

“First of all, you don’t know that. Second of all, your feelings don’t matter right now,” Isobel says, not unkindly, just directly. “The only feelings that matter are his. Sorry Maria.”

“No need, I already made this about me once, it’s time it’s about him,” Maria says while she wipes her eyes once again. She’s stopped crying for now even if sorrow is still on her face. “But if I’m around he’s not going to believe you right now. So I’m gonna go see Liz.”

She moves close to Michael again, hugging him and kissing his cheek softly. He can’t help but cling back. He is going to miss the closeness with her, but maybe in the future they can get it back. As friends.

“Good luck, Guerin,” she whispers in his ear. He tightens his arms around her for just a second more, before he lets her go and lets her walk away from him and into the Pony. He’s two for two on people he loves walking away from him today, it doesn’t feel good.

“She didn’t walk away. She gave you the space you need,” Isobel murmurs on his right, her hand snaking around his shoulders and pulling him right to her, smacking a kiss to his right temple. “Now you’re going to let me tell you what an idiot you’ve been.”

\-----

He tries to get in touch with Alex over the next few days. Not hounding him, not stalking or annoying him. Just a text each morning to say he’s sorry, that he’s hoping for a chance to explain, that even if Alex doesn’t believe it, he is really happy that he was the one he saved.

He never gets a reply, he doesn’t expect one. He just hopes for the opportunity one day.

Though he does know Alex is fine, if Isobel is to be believed. She won’t tell him anything, nothing about how Alex is or how he’s feeling, though Michael doesn’t really want her to tell him anyway. He wants to find out for himself. But knowing that she talked to Alex and he hasn’t skipped town does reassure him.

He does know Alex joined in on searching for his father to see if they could find Mimi, to get an answer about her fate. He doesn’t know what they found, he hasn’t asked and he doesn’t want to. Knowing Maria doesn’t blame him does nothing to assuage his guilt of not finding her mother as he promised, nor coming back with the wrong person. Even if both of them know it wasn’t the wrong person. He still hopes Mimi might be alive by some miracle.

But he doesn’t ask, nor does he offer his services. They’ll let him know if they need him, the way they always do. Until then he’ll stay at the Junkyard and do his job and stay out of their way, the way they need him to.

\-----

A week after the kidnapping, after breaking people's hearts, after staying out of people’s ways (except Isobel, who just gives him disapproving looks and steals his beer), he wakes up to the rumble of a truck outside the Airstream. He can hear that it’s a newer truck from the smoothness of the engine and checks the clock. Seven am is on the early side for him, and he contemplates rolling over before he hears the sharp slamming of a car door. He can hear steps moving towards the Airstream, and sits up with a sigh just as a sharp knock bangs against the door.

“Coming!” He shouts, finding his jeans on the floor by the bed and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to put them on. His shirt goes on next, but he foregoes shoes for now as he walks over to the door and opens it.

He doesn’t expect Alex to be standing there in fatigues. But it does explain the truck sounding newer, he does know Alex got a new car recently.

“Al- Alex,” he stutters out, despite never stuttering before in his life. He might not like the military all that much, but he can’t deny that Alex looks amazing in the uniform. He wonders if he’ll spontaneously combust should he see him in the dress uniform.

“Guerin,” Alex replies. He looks cool as a cucumber, the way he usually does. Michael remembers a time he hated Alex’s mask of indifference. Now he understands the need for it.

“Wh-.” He stops himself before asking why Alex is there. He wanted him to be there, after all. 

“It’s good to see you,” he says instead.

“You too,” Alex replies. Though Michael is unsure if he really means it or not.

“Already having issues with the new truck? I can take a look if you want me to.”

“No,” Alex says shortly, though no annoyance in his voice. Yet. “I’m not here for that.”

“Okay. What can I do for you?”

“You can stop texting me. Stop trying to contact me, stop trying to make yourself feel better. I’ve had enough.”

Michael is a little bit unsure if he actually deflates or it, it certainly feels like it. It’s painful, but he understands. 

“Okay. If that’s what you want then I will.”

“It is.”

He nods, looking down on the ground so he doesn’t have to look at Alex. He knows he fucked up, no one else he can blame but himself. “I’ll leave you alone then. Thank you for stopping by.”

“Oh for fuck’s sake, Michael,” Alex bursts out, making Michael jump in shock. “‘Thank you for stopping by?’ I’m here telling you to stop contacting me and all you can say is thank you for stopping by?”

“I’m trying to respect your wishes!”

“So you’re just going to roll over and not fight?”

“Why?” Michael asks. “Do you want me to fight?”

“I…” Alex breaks off, clenching his teeth. Michael can see his hands balled into fists, tightening and releasing in a way that’s so very Alex. “I’m so fucking pissed at you.”

“I know.”

“I was okay with dying. I was okay with not seeing you before I did because you would get Mimi. But instead, instead you walked through my door. And I have _never_ been more heartbroken to see you. Because you didn’t pick me. How could you not pick me?”

“I-”

“And Maria told me she somehow manipulated you but we both know that if you didn’t want to go for Mimi, you wouldn’t have. But you did. You went, expecting to find Mimi but you got me,” Alex barrels on, not noticing that he was trying to speak.

“Alex-”

“Were you even relieved? Or were you just sad you couldn’t do what you promised her?”

“Of course I was fucking relieved!” He shouts before Alex can say anything else. “I wanted to save _you_. I got the text and thought `how the hell can I get to Alex’!”

“Then why didn’t you?!”

”Because Isobel convinced me I needed to tell Maria about Mimi, and then I couldn’t say no when she wanted me to get her mom. And I convinced myself you could get out on your own.”

Alex scoffs. “Yeah sure, taken hostage by my father, who fucking hates me and everything I stand for, of course I could get myself out.”

“I didn’t say it was thought through. But it was the only way I could go get Mimi without tearing myself apart.”

Alex sighs, rubbing a hand across his eyes. The sun is rising now, a beautiful red and golden sunrise. Michael always wanted to watch a sunrise like this with him.

“Alex. I’m _sorry_. I should’ve picked you, I always should’ve picked you. But I can’t be mad that I didn’t, because you’re _here_ and you’re _alive_. And I am so fucking happy about that,” Michael says, shooting a small smile Alex’s way when he meets his eyes.

“I might be mad, and hurt, that you didn’t. But I can’t be mad either, because at least I got to have this conversation with you.” Alex shakes his head, minutely and slightly shaking. “But it doesn’t matter, my dad got the last laugh anyway.”

“What do you mean, your dad got the last laugh?” Michael inquires. He knows Jesse did this to torment them, but it feels like Alex means something more by it.

Alex sighs, and looks around, sorrow in his eyes. Like he’s memorizing everything. 

“I found Mimi.” Michael wants to feel happy, but he just knows that’s not the end of the sentence. “And in exchange for getting her back… let’s just say I’ll be gone for a while.”

And for the third time in too short of a while, everything in Michael goes cold. 

“So that was his play all along.” He shouldn’t be surprised, but he is. Jesse’s ability to manipulate situations to his own advantage will probably never cease to amaze, and disgust, him. 

“Yes,” Alex answers. “I’m leaving Roswell. I’m gonna go get Mimi and bring her back. After that, I’m gone, classified location. If my dad finds out I’ve been in contact with you, he will kill you.”

“Then let him, I’m not letting you go again.” A fire rises within him and he's angry, angrier than he’s been in a while. Probably since Max died and he spiraled into a hole of self-hatred and substance abuse. He’s not making the same mistake again. It’s time he gets over himself, time he does what Alex says and stops feeling sorry for himself. He has too, if he’s going to feel like he’s worth this.

“There’s no other choice, Michael.”

“What, you’re just giving up?”

“If you take on my dad, you’ll not only take on him but the entire US Air Force as well. Which I am still a part of.” Alex’s voice is back to being hardened now. He’s not fucking around. Michael has doubts he ever was, regardless of how many times he was left behind because Alex had to leave and Michael thought he was being abandoned. Pushing Alex’s buttons might not be the smartest thing he’s done lately but he still revels in the spark he can see in his eyes. Challenging him is in Michael’s second nature, right alongside _Cosmic_ and _Never Looking Away_. 

“Do you want me to fight?”

Alex glances around again, almost like he’s looking for something. His gaze scours the early morning junkyard around them, cataloging things in a methodical way. He’s all soldier at that moment, and Michael understands without a doubt that Alex did learn to fight battles when he left at 18. Because the man in front of him does everything in his power to win. 

“Yes.”

And now Michael must learn the same.


End file.
